Eros

You do not need to be fully healed to be in a relationship. Relationships can be integral to healing, providing connection and physical touch and meeting your needs.

According to Greek mythology, in the beginning, there was nothing – only chaos and the primordial void of the Universe. Then, the Universe fathered Eros, the personification of love. In an alternate retelling of his origin story, Eros is the son of Aphrodite and Ares. Eros-the God of love, desire and passion- would use his bow and quiver to shoot golden arrows into the hearts of potential lovers to incite feelings between them. Although, he spent his days sparking love, he was determined not to have the same fate. However, one day, it was he who would be struck by love. Insanely jealous of the beauty of a mortal named Psyche, Aphrodite sent Eros on a mission to make her fall in love with an ugly man. Upon seeing Psyche for the first time, Eros was so distracted by her beauty he accidentally pricked himself with the arrow intended for her. And so it came to be, the god of love fell in love with himself.

Eros’ Message

Seeking a relationship as an avoidance mechanism is different from combining a connection with another individual alongside inner work. It is beneficial to be on a journey toward self-actualization, awareness and self-soothing before entering a relationship; however, that doesn’t mean you have to be at a place of completion. An intention set in motion matched with the growth relationships offer can be idea. There is beauty to be found in remaining single, as there is through relationships.

The remedy to certain wounds and meeting certain needs require elements plentiful in relationships, as some of these are inherently challenging to address in isolation. Some scars remain dormant until a trigger draws them to the surface, ready to be released and soothed. A relationship offers the environment for this.

If you have an avoidant or anxious attachment style, working toward having a secure attachment occurs through learning via interaction. Hyper-independence can be overcome by slowly easing into receptivity with a partner. Fears of intimacy can be healed through being intimate. Fears of vulnerability can be healed through being vulnerable with a partner. Fears of rejection and abandonment can be healed by opening your heart to another. Sexuality can be liberated through opening up sexually with a lover. Of course, only do these things when you feel ready and safe.

Learning how to communicate effectively arises from difficult conversations and conflict resolution. Developing empathy and understanding comes from learning about another person’s idiosyncrasies, patterns and ways of thinking.

You do not need to love yourself 100 percent to be loved and to love another. Embracing self-love can be mirrored through the love another provides you with, and you can learn how to give yourself love by seeing how you give it to a partner. Make it a goal to lavish yourself in love as grandly as you do your partner instead of giving love to get love.

You can be in a relationship as you are now, even with parts of your life not fully figured out. Be on the journey of self-love and healing so that you are not relying on another to make you feel happy and whole; however, remain open to love.