She of the Lotus

Shadow work, addressing dissonance, seeing downfalls as the flipside of superpowers, loving yourself back to wholeness, the beautiful lotus that grows from murky waters, disempowering triggers, bringing light into your dark corners.

Originally, the title for this oracle deck was going to be The Language of Light. It was not actualized in that incarnation as other layers of meaning needed to be honored – the fuller spectrum I was guided to bring through also included the shadow. In hindsight, choosing to deepen the message of balance that the Lemurians were bringing forth through this work meant I had to experience my own shadow.

My shadow encounters brought light into nooks I didn’t know I had. If there is a way to fast track your growth, it is by being real with the shadowy or unloved parts of ourselves. There was a time when the concepts of “shadow work” and “self-love” seemed relevant, but I was vague as to what they really meant. I knew the next part of my journey was exploring them, but how that would happen was quite mystifying. He shadow and self-love are big topics to unpack and unravelling them took me on quite an adventure. Unfortunately, I thought shadow work was about digging up as many issues as possible and that being “present with them” meant wallowing in them. Without tools for expanded awareness, I found myself drowning deeper in the upset of it all and creating more of it in the process.

My journey for clarity took me to Cambodia, where I met and mastered the art of perspective and indirectly finding growth points in a way that spoke to my being rather than my mind. That sparked a three-month journey into the farthest reaches of myself. I realized I had a lot of unlearning and self-acceptance to do. The years of trying to be the best that I could be created constructs in my self-identity. My striving wasn’t as healthy as I’d thought. By discarding traits that seemed ugly or hindering, I was also rejecting sides of myself that were quite wonderful. They were two sides of the coin, and equally, they were part of my true nature.

When we discard any part of ourselves, we are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Often our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses and vice versa. When we reject or deny parts of ourselves, we end up feeling hollow, lost and detached. When we take them out of the trash and work with them through compassion, gentleness, honesty and non-judgment, we can shine a light on these shadows and see them for what they are. Incredibly, my perceived weakness vanished as I peeled the layers further and further back, to explore the past experiences that accompanied them. Accepting the shadows enough to bring them into the daylight was usually all it took for them to dissipate. Their power dissolved and I could see them for what they were, or rather were not.

Paradoxically, self-love is a catalyst for transformation. Alchemizing painful triggers is an opportunity for awareness that helps us reclaim more of ourselves. As the dense spaces begin to evaporate, we can be filled with more light, more love, and we create an upward healing spiral.

I have come to learn that shadow work and self-love are practices to implement on a day-to-day basis. When we merge this awareness with moment-to-moment consciousness, densities don’t even get a chance to form. We can then live and love even bigger! And, this is true freedom, self-empowerment and where authentic love and light can radiate.

A true light bringer shines light in all the corners so shadows can be acknowledged and released.

Divinatory Meaning

Take a look at any unconscious patterns that may be running you. Are there elements of yourself you need to take out of the trash, dust off and reabsorb? Shadows can be painful or tender to touch. “Sensitivity” in an area can be a “trigger” that shows us where we might want to spring clean some of our darker forgotten, ignored or hidden corners. Accepting our shadows is the first stage in restoring ourselves to wholeness, in self-love. Peel back the layers where there is shame, guilt or fear and bring them into the daylight. Under a loving and compassionate light, they will resolve and reassimilate so you can re-engage with your superpowers.